dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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