I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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