can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
