i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize