awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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