hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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