After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
