btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
