I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize