if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
