I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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