I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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