You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
