i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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