He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
