just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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