I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My dick has a subreddit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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