Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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