I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize