youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
