Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize