awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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