is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
foreskin is a definite game changer
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
