hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
