Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
