my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
