is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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