I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
