Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
