Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize