I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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