Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
