i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
