I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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