it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
