Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
