He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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