I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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