i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
