you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i will never coherently bang her
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
