Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
