you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fuck appropriateness.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
