dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
