Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
