just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
