Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
