I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
its not stalking. its research.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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