I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
