She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
