I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
