Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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