it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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