Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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