Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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