I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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