so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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