I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
