So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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