how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
