well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
