I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
