good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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