Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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