I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
