mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Found your dick twin last night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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