Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
