I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
