I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
