u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
