ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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